I am biased.

The lovely Z over at Leave In The Kinks posted this blog about hair issues in relationships: http://www.leaveinthekinks.com/2010/07/hair-issues-in-relationships.html Something in particular that she wrote really made me evaluate myself, my biases and the people I am attracted to. Z wrote:

A friend of mine asked me if I would date a woman with relaxed hair, and I said um no it was far less likely than me dating one with natural hair. I mean, hair is not the reason I would or wouldn't date someone (it's what's inside that counts and all that), but I'm yet to come across someone with relaxed hair who I find attractive. On a superficial level, when I see gorgeous women with relaxed hair, I pretty much go "Damn, she fine. Now if only she was natural."

When I read those words, I felt like Z was reading my mind. I find myself noticing women with natural hair, and overlooking those with relaxed hair or weave...unless, of course, I'm imagining what they would look like with locs or a huge afro. I wasn't always this way. I stopped perming my hair when I was in tenth grade (2003), but that didn't stop me from noticing or being interested in women with permed hair. The change came about when I REALLY went natural, which was summer 2009. Up until then, although I had stopped perming my hair, I wore braids 90% of the time. Occassionally, I would wear a sew in. The only time I wore my hair out was in between styles. It wasn't until last summer, when I stumbled across Sunshine's blog, that I decided to wear my hair out. I took my long twists out, and actually paid attention to MY hair. Once I did that, I started to subconsciously block out women with perms and notice women with natural hair even more than I had before. I persuaded several gorgeous women to go natural, because I didn't think that relaxed hair did them justice. Natural hair is the perfect accent to natural beauty. In the past I didn't think too deeply about perms and their implications. I stopped perming my hair because I always kept it braided, and I didn't see the point of perming it any more if I was just going to braid it anyway. After I went natural, I started to wonder why I (and others) ever got perms in the first place. What was the point? I realized that it was just something we did...it was apart of our regular routine. It was so ingrained into our consciousness that we automatically did it...no questions asked. I am biased. I'm not a natural Nazi or anything, but I prefer natural hair. When I read about people doing their BC or transitioning, I always marvel at how much better they look with their natural hair. Their hair isn't like anyone else's, and that makes them look unique and beautiful, and I find that immensely appealing. When I see a gorgeous woman with natural hair, I mentally say the same thing that Z says! In my relationships since I've been natural my partners have expressed that they love my hair. They like that it's not off limits...they can actually touch it! I have definitely attracted a different set of people since I've been natural, and honestly I feel that I have been taken more seriously. I'm not biased toward skin color, height, weight, religion...but when it comes to hair, I know what I like...and that's au naturale. So what do you think? Are you biased toward a certain hair type? What role has hair played in your relationships?